Real Old Time Religion

I found this amusing, it is a play upon the Christain Hymn, Gimme That Old Time Religion.

We will sing for great Diana,
Who will teach us love and honor,
But you truly gotta wanna!
And she's good enough for me.

Young Bacchus in the springtime,
Leads the dancers round the grapevine--
Soon those grapes are gonna be wine,
And that's good enough for me.

It was good for fair Apollo,
For the Sun's rays he doth follow,
He'll be back again tomorrow,
And that's good enough for me.

We will go and worship Vesta,
For her cooking is the best-a,
All the food at the fiesta,
Which is good enough for me.

We will call on Minerva.
If you really want to serve her,
Learn crafty wisdom further,
That's good enough for me.

We will all go worship Plutus,
And with riches he'll salute us,
All that gold would surely suit us,
And it's good enough for me.

There's that lusty old Priapus,
He's just itching to unwrap us.
(He'd do more to us than tap us,
And that's good enough for me.)

At the dancing Pan will gloat
And to yells give lusty throat-
He could really get your goat,
But he's good enough for me.

Let us dance with Dionysus
And get drunk on wine and spices,
The Christians call them "vices,"
But they're good enough for me.

We had better worship Neptune,
We had better worship Neptune,
If we don't we'll all be wet soon,
And that's wet enough for me!

We worship Aphrodite,
Though she's a little flighty,
She never wears a nighty,
And she's good enough for me.

We will all bow down to Venus,
As we dance upon Mt. Zenos,
We will worship with our....voice,
And that's good enough for me.

To Our Lady of Ephesians,
Who has taps for all secretions,
We'll dance for all the seasons,
Which is good enough for me.

At Troy nobody was mean-a
Than the Great Goddess Athena,
Mopped them up with Ajax clean-a,
And that's good enough for me.

Let us all join with the Dryads,
Let us all join with the Dryads,
Trees may not be quite the Triad,
But they're good enough for me.

Let's dance with the Bacchantes,
For they're not your maiden Aunties,
And they don't wear underpanties,
But they're wild enough for me.

You can dance and wave the thyrsos
And sing lots of rowdy verses--
Till the neighbors holler curses,
And that's good enough for me!

When the Wild Hunt fills the evening,
With a howling and a screaming,
Diana's eyes are a gleaming,
And that's where I wanna be.

We will sing a verse for Eris
(Golden apples for the fairest!)
Though she sometimes likes to scare us,
But she's good enough for me.

Let us sing to old Discordia,
Cause it's sure she's never bored ya,
And if she's good enough for ya,
Then she's good enough for me.

I asked questions of the Sybil,
And she gave me back a riddle,
And she left me in a muddle,
But that's good enough for me.

When we all bowed down to Nuit,
There was really nothin' to it,
(Alex Sanders made me do it...)
But that's good enough for me.

Let us not forget ol' Isis,
She will help you thru your crisis,
'N make your magic glow brightest,
And that's good enough for me.

Bumper stickers of all sizes,
At quite reasonable prices,
They say, "'Ankh' if you love Isis,"
And that's good enough for me.

We will worship feline Bast,
Though we know she's sort of fast,
Pass the mice and raise the glass,
She's sure good enough for me.

We will have a mighty Party
In the honor of Astarte,
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy,
'Cause she's good enough for me.

We will go and worship Baal,
For he is the Lord of All,
In the fields and in the hall,
He is good enough for me.

If you're really into dancing,
And you wanna try some trancing,
Then the Voodoo gods are prancing,
And that's good enough for me.

Was a time, so I've heard tell-a,
Fine and promising young fella,
Gave his all to serve Cybele,
But that's damn well not for me!

There are some that call it folly
When we worship Mother Kali.
She may not be very jolly,
But she's good enough for me.

We will sing a verse for Loki,
He's the old Norse god of Chaos,
Which is why this verse don't
rhyme or scan or nothin'
But it's good enough for me...

We'll sing a verse for Thor,
In bed, he's not a bore,
That hammer isn't all he's famous for,
So he's good enough for me.

Let us join the Earth Spirits,
Let us join the Earth Spirits,
By the stones they will heal us,
And its good enough for me.

We will party with the Sidhe
For a hundred years or three,
And get duct-taped to a tree,
And that's good enough for me.

Nous nous appellons Druides
Et nous sommes del'Atlantide.
C'est peut-etre un peu stupide,
Mais c'est mon bon avis.

Well old Gerald got it goin',
Old Gerald got it goin',
Now a Wiccan wind is blowin',
And that's good enough for me.

Joining at our Witching hour,
By bud and leaf and flower,
We'll raise a cone of power,
That's good enough for me.

We will worship Frey and Freya,
Yao and Vesta, Lugh and Gaia,
Any more? Perun! and Maia!
That's still not enough for me!

Oh my neighbor is a Buddhist,
And my roommate is Voodooist,
Me, I'm just a nudist,
But that's good enough for me.