The Mad Ritual of the Gods

the gods are all the forces of the universe: gravity, light, space-time, chance, mother nature, our thoughts, farts, all the pantheons of the world, death, etc. the gods are the universe. they are at best ambivalent, at worst indifferent, but always there, and we don’t have to care about them either. it won’t bother them.

intent

to align yourself with the universe, to commune with, and let it know you’re here, and have a laugh and bitch and act a little crazy. it probably already knows you’re there and doesn’t care, but so what? you’re the one who likes practicing rituals and that’s that.

procedures

0. change whatever does not suit you, but if possible, keep the basic structure.

make an altar with whatever you wish, a box, a table, etc. in a room or space you can have some privacy, or take your chances with your housemates (or go to your local pub, bar, club, and have time with the gods).
and put some incense, candles, a glass of water, anything that makes you feel magical -special- on it.
drink some wine or liquor, or lots of coffee, any substance you want to get you a little bit high (i’m not condoning illegal stuff). put the remainder of what your ingesting on the altar.
now face any cardinal point or look up or look down and say something like:
i invoke thee. come to witness this thy ritual...

or
hey you motherfuckers you fucked up my life and i gotta bone to pick with you...


or
i love you my gods. you’re the best, i wish you could hear me...

or
i call upon the forces of the elements, blah, blah...

or sing a song. the point being, almost like a prayer/conversation, anything that you want to say will work, as long as its honest. and take occasional hits of your ‘libations’ as you make physical gestures of ‘wanna hit?’ to the gods, even if your pissed off at them, because they are part of you and they are you, although they do seem to behave as external forces (that’s just the way it is).

act as nutty as you want as well, provided you do not hurt anyone, go apeshit if you must, very important.


finish up by thanking them and telling them you’ll talk to them later, that just like them you got things to do. finish you’re libations and put away the altar -if you set one up. go have a sandwich or whatever.

By: arturo royal